in the hallway
today
i heard a voice
husky
like yours.
i knew it wasnt you
it couldnt.
but i sat up
a little straighter
stomach tightened
and held my breath
hoping
you’d walk through the door.
in the hallway
today
i heard a voice
husky
like yours.
i knew it wasnt you
it couldnt.
but i sat up
a little straighter
stomach tightened
and held my breath
hoping
you’d walk through the door.
your love filled my heart
as my breasts filled your hands
and when i say i never loved you
baby i think you know i lied
gnaw gnaw
doubt you i will
dont ask me
why i hiss
i could be worse
i claw, i bite, i scratch
its me
not you
or maybe it is
he’s like
bacon and eggs
with warm buttered toast
waffles drowned in syrup
and giant coffee cups.
like sunday breakfast,
after eating all-bran cereal
right through the week.
anyone would see
why i could use
a little bit of him
after putting up with
too much of you.
empty words and
half-hearted gestures
they dissolve,
disappearing
like snowflakes in june
though already it feels
like december again.
as we slowly move on
heavy hearted and cold
trying in vain to fill
this space inbetween
i forget
when i changed.
how i stopped
smiling with my eyes
how i let the music die
and this silence came to be
how a nothingness
came over dreams
how memories turned to lies
and laughter into ice
i forget.
i forget
when i changed
but baby you know
i had to forget
a little piece of me
if only to forget all of you.
cut off these arms
for i wont be holding you
snip off my tongue
and of love i wont speak
slice up my brain
let no memories lie
chop up my heart
and no love shall remain
excuse me sir,
you are not allowed
to fuck with my head
yet again.
oh wait.
yes you are.
try as i might
i wont forget
warm nights in june
and silver august moons
september,
when the leaves fell away
and how october faded to grey.